some thoughts about communication


i’ve been following the discussions on the disabled feminists website lately, visit this site and there is all this weird controversy with them because they “dared” to call someone out for exploiting people with disabilities by pretending to be conjoined twins with a history of child pornography. it’s hard for me to imagine what the fuss is about, adiposity this project is obviously majorly problematic! all i have to do is describe the project and everyone around me collapses and starts moaning.

my world is so insular, i find few people that are willing and able to accept me as i am and not project some idealized idea of what a human being “should be” that i’ll never measure up to. my thinking is that i don’t want anyone around me that doesn’t respect who i am in the world. so i have a small circle that is filled with love.

but these political bloggers, you know, they engage with the “public,” and try to create community spaces to talk about issues relevant to their communities and promote social justice and stuff. which is cool. really cool, actually.

the thing for me, i feel hesitant to engage in these public forums because i’m not sure even in these spaces there is the flexibility and willingness required to really be accessible to folks with various communication styles and needs. i just finished a great disability studies course at UW, and my first class i was thinking “i’m going to be the fucked-up person in the corner again.” and that totally didn’t happen, mostly because the teachers and participants were really interested in making room for various perspectives and communication styles. so i know it can work.

really, the fact is, i’m a fierce dirtbag [drag] queen who says what the fuck i’m thinking and i don’t have much concern for the rules of politeness. i do believe in compassion, kindness, respect and honesty. i just express them in my own big fierce way. in politically progressive circles outside my close circle of friends, i often feel like the proverbial bull in the china shop.

and all this finally motivated me to start my blog and site fa real, so thanks activist sites for giving me things to think about that made me want to start speaking for myselfs in my own way on my own site.

let this be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. now i must get back to rupaul’s drag race.

billie xo

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  1. suki,

    you’re definitely right about folks appreciating forthrightness. i have a few friends who enjoy our relationship precisely because they know what i’m thinking in no uncertain terms, even if it doesn’t make sense (to them)! eliminating the need to wonder if there’s a problem works for people who have been subjected to slander and gossip.

    oh, and also, i’m going to a peer support group for multiples on thursday! soooo excited!

    xooxxoxo billie

  2. Billie, as usual, you’ve taken the words right outta my mouth. I’m coming into another layer of awareness when it comes to ways that I express myself(s) and how that gets interpreted by those around me based on 1. their own histories, backgrounds and experiences 2. how well they actually know me and 3. who else might be listening in.
    It’s tough being that proverbial bull you mentioned earlier, but there’s also an authenticity people like you and me have that make certain people gravitate to us because we are refreshing in our honesty and forthrightness, and that seems to be something that harder and harder to come by.
    I look forward to reading your future rants, tirades and musings.

    Love, Suki